Ludicrous Locum
…ludicrous generally refers to something so ridiculous it is laughable. I am no where near laughing at this situation yet but I liked the illiteration.
Yesterday, Emeraude and I had 2hrs stolen out of our day by a locum who seemed to have too much free time on his hands, I thought then that the situation had been dealt with and that I would not be expected to waste any more of my time (it is already reduced by fatigue and I have many projects needing my attention right now. Projects that I am committed to and needing to complete)
I made a couple calls to the Chronicle today. The last one speaking with a night editor, insisting I have some assurance that they would run the article I would be sending after attending tonight’s training session for the Mason’s ChIP program. He did assure me there would be space saved, I was thrilled and feeling confident about attending on their behalf. It is alot easier to interview someone when you can say which media you are represnting and not “well, I hope it will run in such and such paper”.
The project co-ordinator, Pat Curren, for the Child Identification Program being held at the Rec Centre tomorrow was a very friendly, down-to-earth man. He was more than generous with his time, both answering my questions and elaborating on all aspects of the program. By the end however I did not even know how I was still standing. I marched out of there certainly appearing confident and in charge of myself… Appearing being the key word.
I actually wanted to just fall to the floor in a heap. The pain in my bones (arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes) was excrutiating, it felt like there were large, rusty spikes being driven into my bones and I was having trouble thinking but I think I still managed to walk without limping (at least I’m pretty sure I pulled it off). But that was just the beginning of the problems.
I never hesitated to put on the charade of being fine as I was going directly to the ER and late on a friday night there would most likely be few or no othere ppl there, it had been 5 hrs since my last injection which can be repeated every 4 hours so it was all good. Knowing it would be really quick I even worked up the courage to bug Karen (economic develpment assistant) asking her to pick me up in 15 minutes as she said she was leaving and on her way home (I hate bugging ppl but Karen is super sweet and I would be in & out and in 15 minutes would certainly just be back outside ready and waiting)…
That last paragraph… that was my perception of the situation at 8:15pm this evening. I was to learn it was no where near the reality of the situation. I was in for a very painful, stressful surprise (one that ended with me once again not following through completely on an assignement). Now, you will certainly, while reading this, wonder why I am not working on my article instead of wasting time on my blog.
If you have ever written anything, even a Christmas Newsletter to family, you will understand that this requires some clarity. Writing an article requires good notes (I definetely have these, as I said, the Mason whom I interviewed was very cooperative and helpful), a couple good photos (my battery is currently charging and so I can not view those as of yet), a story line (I had taken care of that earlier this evening… Although fatigue had me sleeping through the afternoon, unable to concentrate or even sit up, I was in incredible pain but could not go anywhere as Emeraude was napping and Lloyd was at school I had before & after bringing her to the public school to play & splash, went on the Mason’s website and more specifically the URL provided in the pamphlet Karen had given me, for 55 minutes in total, reading and making notes and my storyline) and lastly an open mind, free of distractions, to go from your storyline and the info you have jotted down, using the photos as inspiration and of course the standard who, when, why, where, how, to create an article. It was a huge help that I spent the last 30 minutes at the training (I was never part of the training, just covering it), speaking with Pat which meant I was almost on my way home with a ton of information and a great discussion fresh in my mind. Thank goodness I thought, this had been in the evening, when the hospital would not be congested and I could most likely zoom right through, 10-15 minutes at most.
That never happened, I am in an incredible amount of pain having received my medication when I was already too far gone… I can’t think. I bugged for assurance regarding the publishing of anything I would send (because it was important to me that this particular article get the attention it would deserve) for no reason apparently, as when I got home was in no shape to write anything decent and so I have dropped the ball again but also once again through no fault of my own. I was screwed around by a locum not much older than myself who kept referring to “what I’ve seen in other er’s” (HOW IS THAT RELEVANT TO ME??? WHERE THERE EVER MS PATIENTS IN THOSE ER’s??? DOES HE REALIZE NO 2 MS PATIENTS ARE IDENTICAL???? and if he is overwhelmed by what he sees in such a small town ??? well, I really don’t know what to think) God give me patience and the courage to continue trying to make a go of the job I used to love (writing) because this could be the straw that brakes the camels back…
I am so embarrassed that I bothered the editor and now have sent nothing. I look like an idiot and of course there is no way for them to know I did everything in my power to handle this in a professional fashion. I was so embarrassed to have bothered Karen for a ride telling her I would be waiting outside when that never happened and then calling her again (thank God she offered but I wished I could have declined her offer) I felt like such an idiot, this is someone I respect, whom I will be trying to sell advertising to soon (michsnow) and now I have made myself appear like a total flake. I just don’t know tonight. It’s really all more than I even know how to straighten out and I have no idea if I will be able to sleep at some point in such pain. I am so angry.
The locum asked seemingly irrelevant questions that served no purpose in the end, other than passing time. It also seemed to me that he had NO real knowledge of multiple sclerosis symptoms, treatments, etc. Why I am explaining myself to these locums when they do not seem to hear the answers to the questions they ask (and do not seem to want to understand)? In the end nothing was accomplished. I wasted and hour and a half in the ER when I should have been back home writing my article. The nurses couldn’t have been nicer or more attentive (or more patient with how angry I was) so I’m certain without it could have been a 15 minute visit at most. I have no confidence that he is going to order my IV Steroid treatment and he has left the standing order at every 6 hours which is completely without logic – the injection I receive is only effective for about 3.5 hours and safe to receive every 4 hours so where is this 6 hours coming from???? Also, the regular Manitouwadge doctors have written the order for 2-6 mg allowing me to reduce the amount of dilaudid I’m recieving when possible and that way take the least amount of drugs possible. Well, he left that part of it but for no reason as waiting for every 6 hours I will be in so much pain that even the 6mg will most likely not help and so I will always be opting to receive the maximum dose.
I am so frustrated.
